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Parents should be alert to these changes
in a child’s behavior now or in the future:
- Persistent fears related to the incidents
(such as fears about being hurt or being permanently separated
from parents)
- Sleep disturbances such as nightmares,
screaming during sleep, and/or bedwetting which persist
more than several days after the event
- Loss of concentration and irritability
- Change in activity level
- Behavior problems, such as, misbehaving
in school or at home in ways that are not typical of the
child
- Physical complaints (stomachaches, headaches,
dizziness) for which a physical cause cannot be found
- Withdrawal from family and friends,
sadness, listlessness
- Preoccupation with the events of the
incident
- Children need comforting and frequent
reassurance that they’re safe. Make sure they get
it.
- Be honest and open about the tragic
event, but keep information age-appropriate.
- Encourage children to express their
feelings through talking, drawing, or playing.
- Try to maintain your daily routines
as much as possible.
- Reassure young children that they’re
safe.
- Provide extra comfort and contact by
discussing the child’s fears at night, by telephoning
during the day and with extra physical comforting.
- Get a better understanding of a child’s
feelings about the tragic event.
- Discuss the tragic event with them,
and find out each child’s particular fears and concerns.
- Answer all questions they may ask and
provide them with loving comfort and care.
Don’t say tragic events will never affect your family
again; children will know this isn’t true. Instead say,
“You’re safe now, and I will always try to protect
you,” or “Adults are working very hard to make
things safe.”
Images of the tragic event are extremely frightening to children,
so consider limiting the amount of media coverage they see.
A good way to do this without calling attention to your own
concern is to regularly schedule an activity – story
reading, drawing, movies, or letter writing, for example –
during news shows.
As with younger children, school-age children sometimes find
comfort in expressing themselves through playing games or
drawing scenes of the tragic event. Allowing them to do so,
and then talking about it, gives you the chance to “retell”
the ending of the game or the story they have expressed in
pictures with emphasis on personal safety.
Part of keeping discussion of the tragic event open and honest
is not being afraid to say you don’t know how to answer
a child’s question. When such an occasion arises, explain
to your child that tragic events are extremely rare and may
cause feelings with which even adults have trouble dealing.
Temper this by explaining that, even so, you will always work
very hard to keep your child(ren) safe and secure.
- Children with existing emotional problems
such as depression may require careful supervision and additional
support.
- Monitor their media exposure and information
they receive on the Internet.
- Adolescents may turn to their friends
for support. Encourage friends and families to get together
and discuss the event to allay fears.
- Be aware that some adolescents may express
their feelings through risky behaviors.
- Reassure your child that adults and school
are keeping them as safe as possible.
- Remind your child that if they need
to talk while at school, that school staff (teachers, counselors
and others) are available to talk with them.
- Encourage your child to go about their
daily routine at school, just as you will at home.
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