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Here are summaries of information given by the individual speakers, and the Q&A:
Inmer Bonilla, Bethesda Youth Services Outreach Counselor:
• Parents need to understand the pressures that their kids face today. Kids have already heard all of the warnings, but can still succumb to the pressures.
• The parental response to kids when talking to them is important; they need to ask how the kids feel, because kids don't see their parents as capable of understanding them. Parents need to try to be non-judgmental in order to have a meaningful dialogue with their kids.
• Reasons kids abuse substances:
lack of supervision
peer pressure
mixed messages (e.g. parents "prefer that they drink at home," which prompts kids to think it is OK)
self-medication
• In counseling, Inmer sees the teen as part of the whole family dynamic. In our diverse community, there are many different problems; many times the reasons kids are failing are due to economic struggle, domestic violence, and/or mental illness.
• Many times kids act out to get help. Getting “into the system” gives them a way to seek help when they don’t know how to ask.
• During this time, many kids are working on their emotional life, and neglecting their intellectual life. Alcohol and pot are easily accessible, and kids use them for their analgesic properties.
• It is important that as a society we try to meet the needs of those kids who are not achieving.
Beth Kane-Davidson, Substance Abuse Prevention Program, Suburban Hospital
• Suburban Hospital has 3 detox beds and two outpatient programs.
• The earlier kids begin to drink, the bigger the problem becomes. Average age for boys: 12;
Average age for girls: 13. Most kids are drinking at age 14.
• There has been a rise in underage female drinking, partly due to target advertising of the flavored, fruity alcoholic beverages which appeal to female consumers, and mimic the look of sports drinks. Examples: Hooch, Alcopops. Starter Suds, Mike’s Spiked Lemonade; Zippers (like jello shooters; come in a pack of 30 for $10.99); Sparks (in a can the same size and similar look as energy drinks). Alcohol is inexpensive and relatively easy to get.
• What kids are up against: lack of supervision and peer pressure.
• Every weekend there is one alcohol poisoning at Suburban Hosp. Alcohol poisoning is where the body has so much alcohol on board that it shuts down. (Sometimes kids use the funnel; a big tube with a valve into which a quantity of alcohol is poured; the valve is opened and it goes right down without having to swallow.) The idea is just to get as drunk as possible.
• Kids are so creative that it is difficult to keep up with the new vehicles of alcohol consumption (e.g., in their nalgines, disguised as water, mixed with sports drinks in the original container).
• Alcohol affects 2 centers of the brain: 1. the center responsible for memory and learning, and, 2. the center responsible for decision making.
We are learning more about the development of the adolescent brain and how alcohol affects the target areas.
• Suburban Hospital website:
http://www.suburbanhospital.org/services/BehavioralHealth2001/outpatient.html
Outpatient Addiction Treatment Center: 301-896-2036
Crisis Intervention Service: 301-896-3027
• Marijuana is also easily obtained, and widely used. The same array of devices for delivery are available as for alcohol. “4/20” April 20 is the huge national pot smokeout day; held in the afternoon, at the same time of day that kids usually get out of school and get stoned. It is a way to connect with other kids who smoke, and feel solidarity w/ kids across country.
Officer Denise Gill, MCPD
• Through November 2005, there were 135 citations for alcohol, 40 arrests for unlawful possession, and 2 for furnishing liquor to minors.
• The Bethesda Scene:
Kids say they are going to the movies, and end up hanging out in Bethesda; they often buy alcohol and/or drugs, and hang out in parks, notably Elm Street and Arlington Parks in downtown Bethesda.
• CDS: Controlled Dangerous Substances: substance (drug) or paraphernalia for its use.
• Private parties: typical scenario is that parents are out of town, kids get liquor/kegs; someone complains; cops show up to find the street covered with keg cups, kids bailing out of the house and running into the woods; give breath tests, record results on citation, and kids are charged accordingly (35-40 citations usually given),
• Criminality:
When kids are arrested, it is very serious, but the arrest/citation is only on their record until they are 18, when it can be expunged.
Arrests are still serious because they can impact college or job acceptance, as these usually occur before they are 18, at what time the record can be expunged.
How parents handle the criminal effects of their behavior is key. Their attitude and follow through will either reinforce the arrest and the need to change behavior, or reinforce the notion that they can get away with it.
Mimi Fleury, Community of Concern
• Community of concern started when Mimi was a parent of a child in high school; it began with a booklet the principal asked her to write on teenage substance abuse. She started with a 6 question survey, beginning with:
Q: What do you want your parents to do if they know you are drinking/using?
A: Help (the most popular answer)
Search my room: find the source
Get me into rehab
Suspend/expell me
The survey grew into a book; 1.2 million copies in 29 states have been distributed.
One of the most important things we can do as parents is to educate ourselves about the science of teen substance abuse and its dangers. We are lucky because today the science is compelling. For example, a statistic from an NIH survey (25-40,000 people surveyed) showed that 40% of those who began to drink at the age of 15, became, at some point in their lives, alcohol dependent. It also showed that if someone waits until age 21 to begin drinking, the number goes down to 10%, indicating that the later you can delay the introduction of alcohol into your life, the better the chances you have of avoiding addiction.
To give your kids an “out,” set up a word or phrase that they can use if they want you to help them bail out of a situation. Promise them that if they call for a bailout, there will be no penalty.
Four guidelines that you need to set for your kids to give a clear message:
1. under 21, drinking is illegal
2. NO driving and drinking
3. nothing good happens after midnight
4. ultimately, the choices are up to the kids
We need to end up with healthy, educated, financially independent kids. Kids don’t like limits, but they NEED them: limits are like oxygen, necessary for life. Parents have to be the guardrails to keep kids on the road.
Q & A:
(Directed to Officer Gill)
Q: Our kids want to go to Bethesda on Friday nights, to hang out, they say they are going to B&N, or Uno’s. What is actually going on in Bethesda?
A: 90% of the time the kids aren’t doing anything wrong. The opportunities to get involved in risky behavior are myriad. Homeless people sell drugs or buy alcohol for kids; kids befriend people who get them what they want. You need to know if your child has the strength to resist temptation. The guardrail analogy Mimi Fleury gave is excellent. Kids want our constraints and help -– it takes the pressure off of them if they can “blame” their parents when they don’t want to do something. Give trust very sparingly.
From Mimi Fleury: Limit kids to one night as a social night per weekend; they need to be with friends, but they need limits, too. Be awake and kiss your kids goodnight: they need to know that you are aware of their goings and comings, and you will be able to tell if they have been drinking/smoking pot. Dole out trust in small increments, where warranted.
(also for Officer Gill)
Q: Kids assure their parents that they can’t be cited if they are present at an underage drinking party. Is that true?
A. They can be cited under the “constructive possession” application of the law. The mere presence of the underage person at the party presumes that they are also guilty of possession.
(Directed to Mimi Fleury)
Q. How can we get your booklet (referring to the Community of Concern booklet)?
A. The PTSA can order them in bulk, or you can buy them online at:
www.thecommunityofconcern.org
They also have an e-learning course for parents. Check out the website.
Comment by Inmer:
• Most of the kids know the info, we need to find out why they are still doing these things; we can police them but we need to know that they know how to self-police.
Q. Do we have the numbers of students involved in substance abuse?
A. No.
Pamela: I informally interviewed three B-CC students who reported that there is a significant amount of underage drinking.
Anecdotal evidence tells us that 30-40% of ninth graders are drinking.
We should interview the kids to get a baseline.
Kids have few non-alcohol places to go because most parties have drugs and alcohol and are relatively unsupervised. Schools are forming task forces. We need to give them alternative parties. When your child is in a situation where there is underage drinking, your child is in danger of things getting out of control. Perhaps one thing to do is identify seniors who are non-users and have them talk to freshmen.
Q. What are hookah bars?
A. It is a social scene thing, places where they have lounges and hookah pipes with hoses. The participants sit and toke on flavored tobacco. Unfortunately, tobacco is a threshold drug, and the appeal is that they get the feeling of being in a dimly-lit bar setting.
Commentary from the panel and parents:
The message kids get from us is murky. We let them go to parties we aren’t sure about. Alco-pops and hookah bars are ways to get kids into the drug and alcohol culture.
Part of the problem at B-CC is that not all parents are on the same page. We are also all functioning more or less in the dark; we need to communicate.
When parents have a party they should take the car keys from the kids when they get there, not allow coming and going, and not allow arrivals after a certain time. That way they can at least control whether an intoxicated child leaves the party, and reduce the number of kids who go out to get high or drink and than coma back.
Q. How are parents liable for kids drinking in their own homes?
A. The law states that your child can drink in your home if you are present and you give him/her the alcohol. You are legally responsible for the drinking of other kids at your house, and you can be fined/cited for providing alcohol to them.
Q. Does a citation affect your kids’ college applications/financial aid?
A. Federal financial aid is given contingent upon no citations. They are moving toward having a question on the application asking if the applicant had ever been cited for underage alcohol consumption. Kids can also lose academic and athletic scholarships, and some colleges ask if the applicant has ever been arrested.