ANNOUNCEMENTS

9TH GRADE PARENT PEERS HOST Q&A PANEL: INSIDERS' GUIDE TO B-CC AT 1ST PTSA MEETING - TUES., SEPTEMBER 18, 2007
The first PTSA meeting of the year will be TUESDAY, Sept 18 at 7:00 pm in the cafeteria. Two great reasons to come out: 1.BCC's architect will present plans for five new classrooms in the school's lower level (7:15-7:30.) Then...even better...at 7:45 the 9th Grade Peer Parents will host a Q&A panel: INSIDERS' GUIDE to BCC.

Still spinning from Back to School night? Got some questions that you're dying to ask, but don't know where? Send your questions and get answers from experienced parents - and students - on the ins and outs of BCC - social issues-- parties, open lunch, clubs - striking a balance- homework and extracurricular activities; logistics/communicating with teachers and administrators; accommodations; eligibility; emergencies.... and MORE.

If you're wondering about something, chances are, others are, too! Email your questions in advance to the 9th Grade Peer Parents, or ask at the meeting! In by 7 out by 9!

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Parent peer coordinators for each grade organize approximately two to four meetings during the school year for parents with students in that grade to come together to discuss matters of interest to parents of that grade level, often featuring guest speakers. 

Past topics have included driving, drug and alcohol abuse, stress, setting limits, senior beach week, and college preparation. 

Parent peer coordinators also coordinate certain activities for the students that are traditionally hosted by that class, such as the senior cap-and-gown pick-up breakfast (sophomores)

For meeting dates, go to the B-CC calendar of events and search for "peer"  (Be sure to scroll down to the latest dates.) Meeting dates and topics are announced in the Banter, on BCCnet, and/or by mailings to members of the class.

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Past Parenting Articles

Drugs, Alcohol and our Kids (Jan/Feb 2001)

At the January and February PTSA meetings, two local police officers spoke to parents about the drug and alcohol scene in our area. Summaries of these presentations appeared in the minutes of the meetings, which are available on the B-CC website, but we wanted to reach as many parents as possible by reprinting that valuable information for a wider audience in The Banter.

In December, Officer Denise Gill of the Bethesda police station spoke about activities that occur around the United Artists  movie theater. Large groups of youths gather there, not all necessarily attending a movie. The teens are from B-CC and other public and private schools. Some are very young and the parents drop them off without seeing whether they actually go into the theater or not. Ms. Gill said that numerous illegal activities  occur in the vicinity of the theater, mainly drug and alcohol sales and consumption. Some cases have been reported of younger kids giving people money to purchase drugs, only to see the sellers disappear with the money without delivering the goods. In addition, of course, there are real drug sales. Sometimes adults may purchase alcohol for the underage youth. Occasionally, the kids ask homeless men to make the purchase; there are numerous places nearby where beer or liquor are sold. Older friends and siblings are also sources of alcohol or drugs for younger teens. The police, as well as the presidents of the PTSA, are working to try to find ways to alleviate the situation and are trying to enlist the help of the management of the theater. Although Officer Gill has told B-CC that the situation is a bit better now, there is still the danger that such activity could move down the block to another location. Gill would like to see an off-duty police officer stationed there on weekends, but the question arises as to who bears the cost. The reason for her suggestion is because there are only  seven police beats -- at most 8 or 9 officers--at any given time in the Bethesda area.

According to officer Gill, parental noninvolvement and naivete about their children’s activities are the key to this problem. Ms. Gill stated that the police, movie theatres and schools can only do so much to control teens’ behavior, and they are not babysitters. “There are many things you can trust your kids about, but good judgment is not one of them,” she  adds. She explained that she understands the difficulty  parents experience in giving teenagers the freedom they  need to grow without putting them in situations where they are too young to exercise good judgment. Gill also told us that:

·         Marijuana is everywhere, including  in the schools.

·         The “club drug” ecstasy is also easily available and popular among teens. These pills are sometimes transported in M & M candy bags. It is a dangerous drug which is often combined with other, even more dangerous drugs, unknown to the consumer.

·         The food court by the Bethesda Metro is another popular hangout where kids can get in trouble.

·         The most important thing parents can do to help keep parties under control is to communicate with other parents, which seems not to happen frequently enough.

·         Be aware that, if your child goes to the same place or same house all the time, there is probably a good (ie.bad) reason. It could be an indicator of a lack of adult supervision.

·         The Police Department urges that if you are holding a large party yourself, notify the police in advance so that they can be on the alert.

Besides setting limits on our children, keeping in touch with other parents and communicating as much as possible with our children, Gill suggested a “parent watch” approach, where parents from all the cluster schools act as eyes and ears in their community to observe what is going on. Officer Gill may be reached at: (301) 652-9200.

Some parents at the meeting discussed the problem of  a lack of activities for teenagers on weekend nights. One parent cited as an example the fact that the new bowling alley on Westbard Ave. is closed to minors in the evenings because it sells liquor. Parents also discussed the idea, used by many schools, of a “parent pledge” whereby parents may choose to sign a form stating that they will not allow alcohol or drugs in their homes during parties or gatherings and that they will actively enforce this policy. The names of these parents would then be published, perhaps in the Banter, to help all parents know the policies in homes where their children are going, especially since many parents do not know one another in a large school.

Detective Marc Yamada works out of Wheaton/Glenmont Police station. Until recently he was an undercover officer for illegal drug sales. He told the PTSA in January that the current drug scene in our area is heavy on marijuana and ecstasy. Younger teens are frequently targets of dealers.  He says that parents who knew pot in their youth should know that the THC—the  primary chemical in marijuana—that is sold today, makes marijuana 10 times stronger than in the past. Don’t fool yourself into thinking “it’s only pot,” Yamata advised. He noted that much of teen music, especially hip-hop, as well as movies, contains references to marijuana, and its use is considered socially acceptable by our kids who think it’s safe compared to “harder” drugs. Yamada believes ( based on talking to many addicts ) that marijuana is a “gateway” drug and may lead a user to access to harder drugs.

A small plastic bag of marijuana costs from $10-20 depending on the quality. You may hear marijuana referred to as  “bud” (it appears like a clump of green leaves, sometimes with red hairs or buds), or “blunts” – when it is encased in cigar paper. It can be grown indoors hydroponically and “buds” can be as long as one foot. Kids may read a popular magazine called “High Times” that  promotes marijuana use. Its readers take it very seriously, although it does not always give correct information Yamata says, but he suggested that parents can learn the lingo and culture involved by reading it.

Ecstasy, the “club drug”, has moved from the rave clubs, where it originated and is still prevalent, to the streets, Officer Yamata told the gathering. It consists of pills about the size of an aspirin and comes in many colors, almost always including an imprint on the surface that could be anything from a cartoon character to a popular logo such as Nike. It is advertised among young people as not being dangerous, but it is. A  person can stay high on one $20 pill for 6 hours or so.  The child can come home and still function without a parent noticing anything unusual. The user will not have red eyes, runny nose or other symptoms associated with marijuana use, but they might exhibit a high state of nervousness or restlessness, then “crash” the next day, feeling very lethargic and tired. Yamata warned that references to a party or gathering as “alcohol free” can be a misnomer, and drugs could very well still be present as they are wherever large numbers of youth congregate, including schools, concerts, private homes, and other teen “hang-outs” such the United Artists vicinity.

He urged parents to be on the alert for paraphernalia such as pacifiers, laser pointers, glow sticks, lollypops, surgical masks and Vicks Vaporub, which are all used to enhance the hallucinatory effects of ecstasy.  Butterflies are the international symbol for this drug, just as “4-20” is the symbol for marijuana. Users of ecstasy  need to drink large amounts of water to avoid dehydration, Yamata explained, which is one important danger of the drug. Teens have died from overheating after dancing all night while using ecstasy. If you find a suspicious pill, the detective says, you may call the Police Department to have it analyzed.

Some websites that are helpful in learning about ecstasy are: Dancesafe.org; erowed.org; whitehousedrugpolicy.gov; raves.com; and hyperreal.org/raves. Some of these are proponents of the drug and give insight into the mentality involved.

Other less popular drugs, but still present in the area, are:

·         Ketomine –  “ Special K”- an animal tranquilizer. It can be used as a date rape drug because it is immobilizing, especially when combined with ecstasy. One of the big dangers of ecstasy is that the user does not know what additional drugs might be combined with it. Ketomine is also a club drug.

·         Crystal Meth – “Ice”,  popular with motorcycle gangs. Looks like rock candy. Yamada described it as “very addictive”. Users may twitch and move oddly. “ It’s worse than heroine,” according to the officer.

·         GHB – Also a date rape drug. It is especially potent when mixed with alcohol. Males may put GHB in a Visine bottle and surreptitiously empty drops into a girl’s drink. In a very short time, she will fall unconscious and remain so for about 6 hours or more. The drug passes quickly through the body, so that by the time she has recovered and figured out what happened, it may be too late for it to appear in a medical test. Police advise girls to keep a hand over their drinks at parties and warn them never to accept any drink that is not in a closed can or bottle. Also, they should not put a drink down, leave it, and come back to it. GHB is also used to get high.

·         LSD – Officials are seeing more of this around. A common form is in perforated stickers with cute pictures on them. The sticker is placed on the tongue to ingest the drug.

·         “Dope on a rope” –  Certain cough medicine that has been whirled around so that the desired ingredients flow together.

·         Heroine – Is making a comeback in Baltimore and  D.C. It can now be snorted rather than injected. It is commonly carried in small balloons.

·         Polydrug use – Is very common. Youth arrested for one drug often have other drugs too. Alcohol, of course, is an enhancer of any drug and they are often found and used together.

Detective Yamada may be contacted at  240-773-5532. Both officers assured us that their intent was not to be alarmist, rather to inform, since parents  who are well- informed and communicate among themselves and with their children have a better chance of keeping those children safe.

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Parenting Your Pre-College and College Child (April 2002)

By Nancy Wolfe

       At the April 1, 2002, PTSA meeting, we were lucky to have Carrie Zilcowski,  a psychologist in Bethesda, to talk to us about how our parenting roles are redefined, but not relinquished, when our children reach the end of High School and begin college. Ms. Zilcowski prefaced her remarks by noting that not all teens react in the same way at this time of life, so don’t be alarmed if you do not see any of the characteristics she describes in general.

What usually shocks parents first who are new to the college experience, she says, is the realization that, once your child is away, your involvement in their lives seems to disappear, especially where school is concerned. There are no more PTA meetings, participation in school activities, and, most of all, no access to any information about your child from the school. In 1974, as a result of campus unrest and controversy over the previous “in locus parentis” role played by colleges, the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act was passed. This law says that parents do not need to be informed of their children’s grades or a great deal of  other personal information about their child’s life, including health and behavioral issues. Zilcowski cited the experience of a friend when her daughter was in college and an outbreak of meningitis hit the school. On a Friday, she repeatedly called her daughter and received no answer. She called the health office and inquired whether or not the girl had taken advantage of the inoculations being offered there and was told that they could not give her that information. Frantic by then, the mother could not find out any information about the girl or her whereabouts until the daughter finally called her mother on Monday and said she had been away over the weekend, and yes, she had taken the shot but hadn’t thought to tell her mother about it. This law also applies to misdemeanors committed by a college student. Zilcowski said that some colleges will inform parents of underage drinking if it occurs off campus, but not if it happens on the campus. Therefore, good communication with college age students remains extremely important. As for seeing grades, some experienced parents in the group said their way of reacting to that law is simple: no grades, no money!

      Zilcowski said that a big issue for many college students is indecision; since college life mirrors society and there are many choices available, both socially and academically, a student suddenly plopped down in this environment with no guidelines or restraints can find it all very confusing. The child may change majors or lifestyles often and she counsels parents to be patient while their son or daughter tries out their new skin.

            Ms. Zilcowski identified four important issues parents should be aware of. The first she referred to as “Whose dream is it, anyway?”, meaning that sometimes parents may project onto their children the dreams they had for themselves, whether fulfilled or not. This is particularly true regarding which school the parent(s) attended. To some parents it becomes very important for the child to follow in their footsteps, or, in some cases in family tradition. This may become a big issue between the child’s junior and senior year in high school. Kids at this point already suffer a lot of anxiety as they wait for acceptances (or rejections) from the colleges they applied to. They may become obnoxious and intolerable as a result. Don’t make it worse, she counseled, by insisting the child go to a particular college. In these cases of “waiting anxiety”, one remedy is to apply to schools with rolling enrollments where they can be accepted in the fall. Then the anxiety and the obnoxiousness will likely disappear.

High school seniors may also really “push the envelope” at this stage, Zilcowski says. Sons push away from their fathers and daughters reject their mothers. Parents may find their children challenging the family beliefs and values they have always accepted. Zilcowski advises that the way to get through this is to set limits that are reasonable and make some compromises with their children.

            Another sticky issue is autonomy versus nurturing. The kids want to be free; the parents want them to have limits. One way to cope with this is, beginning at the end of the junior year or beginning of  the senior year, to give the child more financial responsibility through use of an ATM, debit or credit card. Make them responsible for their own payments and make it clear that when the money runs out, it is out. This way, they have some leeway to make mistakes before going to college and feel grown-up at the same time. Once in college, your student should know precisely what their economic situation is. How much does the school cost? How much are they expected to contribute? What will everything cost? Many college students report that their parents never discuss these issues with them.

 What about curfews at this stage?  Zilcowski suggests that as they get closer to leaving, perhaps around March of their Senior year, parents can let up on the curfews and watch the results. Again, this gives kids a chance to experiment in a safer environment.

            Once in college, a big issue for students is fear of failure—the freshman’s biggest fear. They don’t want to disappoint their parents. Parents can help by telling their college freshmen that it’s ok to struggle, to need help. A little reassurance that many other freshmen feel the same way and a reminder that they can change courses more freely in college can be helpful. Another way to lessen the fear of failure is for the student not to pick a college for its name or prestige if it is not the right place for  them. Only so many people can go to the top colleges and there are plenty of other excellent schools even for the most ambitious student.

            Zilcowski cited a few scenarios commonly faced by parents of about-to-be college students:

•     The summer explosion – This can take the form of a student picking a big fight with his or her parents at the end of the summer before leaving for college. As painful as this is, it may also be too painful for them to express their real feelings about leaving, so it is easier to make the break if they are angry.

•     The new nest – A new college student will likely  find himself or herself in a very different environment than they were used to at home. What? go down the hall to the bathroom? Share a bathroom with non-related members of the opposite sex? The dorm room will probably not only be small, but this miniature space must be shared  with an unknown person!  Living in a dorm may be a difficult transition for your child, especially if the roommate is not compatible. A parent can help a new college student to adjust by suggesting alternative places to study, or other avenues of companionship if the roommate is a “dud.” 

•     Home – From a college student’s point of view, it’s ok for them to change, but not you!  They need the stability of knowing that “home” will be the same when they return. Zilcowsky suggests, if at all possible, to not immediately change the child’s room into a den, or give it to a younger sibling unless it is absolutely necessary.  If you must do it, make sure they know. Ms. Zilcowski also says that this is a time when parents may finally decide to divorce, after “waiting until the children leave.”. Guess what? Not a good idea. Studies have shown that divorcing parents is the number one stressor for college students. Depression is rampant on college campuses anyway, and family breakdown at this point is not helpful. Sooo, if you can  manage,  she advises that you hold on to your marriage a little longer.

•     Mental health – In addition to family problems, the stress of leaving home can trigger problems in a vulnerable teen . With the advent of new medications for various mental illnesses, there are more students with emotional issues attending college than previously. Also, alcohol and drug abuse as well as eating disorders are very common; colleges are aware of these trends and try to address them. Sex, however, is a different matter, Zilcowski says.

•  Sex – Is totally unregulated and promiscuity encouraged by coed dorms, although most colleges  do offer choices of single sex dorms. She related the story of a freshman girl at Tulane whose roommate’s boyfriend literally lived  in their room 24 hours a day.  There was sex going on constantly. The girl complained to all the powers that be to no avail, was threatened by the roommate for telling on her, and finally left the school. When she went to see Carrie Zilcowski, she was traumatized in a way that rape victims often are. Although she had not been raped, she felt as though she had been.  Actual rape on campuses around the country is a huge problem, Zilcoski says, and alcohol is the prime factor. Although males can also suffer from sexual abuse, girls are by far the biggest victims and parents should be sure to talk to their daughters about this.

•     Sophomore blues – This phenomenon is that of someone who doesn’t quite fit in. No longer a lowly freshman, the sophomore is not on the level of a junior or senior either. Some students may feel lost or uncertain about their future. This is the biggest drop-out year. This is a time when internships or other outside activities can help students find themselves.

(This is a mini version of a 3- hour workshop that Ms. Zilcowski gives at various schools from time to time.)

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11^th Grade Parents Hear Peer Advice on College Visits
By Nancy Wolfe

On Wed. March 23, the 11^th  grade Parent Peer meeting featured a panel of three “veteran” parents and Christine Foland, Resource Counselor from the B-CC Counseling Dept., who discussed some nuts and bolts parents and prospective students should know about how to get the most out of college visits.

The first fact that became apparent was that, with all three parent panelists, it was the parents who did the legwork on researching and recommending colleges to their children. Other parents reported varying degrees of involvement by their students, indicating that parents can expect a wide range of involvement by their juniors. Even total uninvolvement should not be viewed with alarm.

PTSA president Lucy Swartz opened by saying that she found the college search process to be “a most rewarding and fun experience” (not necessarily a universal reaction). Her plan of attack was, after doing much research, to pick several schools in the same general location and visit them all on one trip during Spring Break. What resulted, by accident, was that the family saw examples of urban, rural and suburban schools of varying sizes; an idea that Lucy strongly recommends in hindsight. Her son quickly decided that he disliked the largest schools, and, using the “parking lot” approach, rejected any with high-rise garages that indicate a large population. Also, Lucy found that attending both the “information session” and the tour of each school was helpful because many details about the school emerge from these. Another activity the Swartz’s found helpful was arranging to speak with a professor at one of the schools. Since professors do not have any say in admissions, she explained, they can speak frankly and be quite helpful to students. She cited an example where a professor at a school with a strong engineering program convinced her son not to go there, since the boy also had other subject interests and would be better served at a more liberal arts oriented school. She also advised that, unless your student requests otherwise, it can be helpful for parents to accompany him or her on such interviews, since you have more experience in such situations and can think of questions on behalf of your child he might not ask on his own. Lucy also advised that parents and students go on local college visits in our area, even if you’re not really interested in the schools, just to get an idea of what different campuses are like. For research, she recommended three books: “Looking Beyond the Ivy Leagues” by Loren Pope, “Forty Colleges that Change Lives” also by Pope, and the “ College Finder” by Stephen Antonoff. Finally, Lucy advised parents to “plan ahead” as this is a “ long, daunting and rigorous” process and such decisions should not be made in haste.

Naomi Balto had some different hints. With her child, she knew they wanted to look mainly at state and public schools, so that helped to narrow her search. She urged parents to take advantage of the resources available now at B-CC, some of which were not in place for her last year. One example is that the old “Black Book” listing of colleges former B-CC students applied to, and what grades and SAT’s they had, is now available online at http://tcci.naviance.com/bcc, with access from home as well as in the Career Center or Cyber Café.  Students have access to this page through the school. Parents can register as “guest” and request the password from the Career Center.

 She advised parents to keep their computers up-to-date, since you will want to be current in order to use all the tools available, as well as having enough speed and memory. When doing on-line searches, Naomi cautioned, be sure to keep track of all your user names and passwords to save headaches later. Naomi’s approach was to look first at the reference books (e.g., Princeton Review, U.S. News and World Report, Fisk College Search, Barron’s, etc.) before taking the time to browse through a web site. She also suggested talking to people you know who are from the area of a potential school to gain some idea of it as a place to live. Also, if you’re applying to a public institution, inquire about the financial status of the state where it’s located. These things can change rapidly, as we well know here in Maryland.

For your personal financing, keep in mind that state schools or universities are not necessarily cheaper than private colleges, since the private schools generally have more financing available. She urged students to apply early to the public universities, since they receive many applications. Naomi also pointed out that visiting a school after being accepted rather than before gives you an entirely different perspective on that school.  Finally, she noted the importance of noting student satisfaction figures; remember that if a school shows only 32% of students graduating in four years, that may be a red light. To help keep down both the parental and student anxiety level over the whole process, Naomi offered these words, “It’s not the college you get into, it’s what you make of it once you’re there”.

            Carol Barsha offered the insight that, when parents do the research for their child, they can’t help but bring their own experiences and likes and dislikes into the process. She recounted what she now regards as her family’s “mistake’ of planning a big trip to three states looking at schools. This can become tedious very quickly, everybody gets tired, and it is easy for all the information and even mental images to all become a big blur. For this reason, she advises that you visit only one college per day. Kids, she says, will sometimes make instant decisions about a school just by seeing the students. “Too preppy “, “girls look updateable”, or whatever. And that will be the end. Take some notes if possible, to help trigger your memory later. She thought that interviews with the admissions offices were helpful, and that they at least put a face and personality to the many names and numbers the admissions officers deal with. Back home, you can find (through the school) alumni to talk with who might also be helpful, especially if they are more recent grads. In Carol’s case, her son finally chose a school because it seemed to offer a good track and field program, a sport he had liked at B-CC. But once there, he found that college competition is much different from high school and he never ran. Luckily, he still liked the school and continues there happily. Her assessment of the whole process is that it is very “fluky”.

            Christine Foland presented an overview of the college planning and acceptance process. She noted that schools look first at grades and high school courses taken, then at GPA’s, standardized tests, essays, interviews (if applicable; larger schools may not do them); special talents, extracurricular activities or their own special criteria. Since Montgomery Co. does not rank students, B-CC sends out a grade distribution sheet to the colleges (available to parents or students in the Counseling Dept.) and the colleges determine the rankings. They may also re-calculate the grades to a more standardized system, since there are many ways of determining grades in the various school systems. Essays, she said, are usually very important; they help to personalize a student and reveal writing ability. Interviews are not as important as they were in the past but they are also helpful, she said. You never know when a student’s special talents may be just what a school is looking for.       

While colleges are looking for certain qualities from students, students should be looking at the colleges for the right fit. Mrs. Foland says characteristics to consider include: majors and other programs; type of school; what degrees they offer; admissions requirements; any special qualifications; location and size; costs and financial aid; affiliations and accreditations; campus activities and student life.

She noted that our Career Center tools include college brochures, videos, catalogs, and much more, including college representatives who will be coming next fall, and lists of upcoming college fairs. (B-CC juniors  will attend during the school day, on April 22, a college fair at Montgomery Fair Grounds with 250 schools represented. This is for students only. However the fair has evening hours as well if parents are interested.) Online searches with bridges.com and tcci are especially helpful. Students coming to the Center will receive their own passwords and keep their own list of schools they have identified. In addition, B-CC will be sending out self-assessment packets to all 11^th grade students soon to help them evaluate their interests and aspirations as part of their college search process. Students will then meet with their counselors to discuss these. In addition, each student’s counselor, Mrs. Kelly of the Career Center and several very knowledgeable parent volunteers are available to help.

            Following self-assessment, college searches and research, students then need to narrow down the choices, review test and application requirements, be aware of deadlines and fees, then submit the application along with the school transcript, teacher and counselor recommendations and test results. Students should also make themselves aware of the many scholarship opportunities and requirements.

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January 2003: 12 Grade Parent Peer Meeting: SURVIVING BEACH WEEK

The following are notes from the Senior Parent Meeting that was held on January 22. Topic: Beach Week

Please note that "beach week" is NOT a B-CC sponsored event. The purpose of the parent meeting was to share information about this activity, in an effort to help families make an informed decision regarding their child's participation. The advice below is from a panel of parents whose children attended beach week in previous years.

Beach Week Advice (Also See Suggested Alternatives Below)

1. Our children are very inexperienced about renting responsibilities!

Do a walk through of the rental house with your child when you drop them off at the beginning of the week.

- check on the location of the barbeque

- determine if stove is gas or electric

- check when the trash is picked up

- locate the fire extinguisher

- locate emergency phone numbers

- know the location of the police station and the nearest hospital

- buy simple basic cleaning supplies and garbage bags

2.. You and your student can lose money if you don't read the rental contract!
Many of the real estate companies have strict rules in their rental agreements about renting to minors.For example, Century 21 requires two adults over 25 to be on the premises.

If your group is caught, then they are immediately evicted and lose the deposit .3 houses of B-CC students were evicted in the first days of Beach Week last year

Then there is the additional problem that evicted kids try to move into other houses

- difficult to resist the peer pressure

3. Try limiting the number of teenagers to 8 and know the friends and their parents well.

- Have a meeting of all the teenagers and parents before any contract is signed. Agree that all should share the responsibilities. Gather all the phone numbers and organize how adults will oversee the week. In one house, the chaperones required each kid to fill out a form with insurance and home contact information, and a statement for parents to sign giving the chaperones authority to act in an emergency.

- Possibly sign additional contract that is an agreement for the additional rules and responsibilities.

- This limits the probability that you will have someone trying to bring something in or trying to do something that you do not want your child to be a part of

- This also limits the probability that you will have someone who is unwilling to take their share of the responsibility for cleaning, for noise control, etc.

4. House logistics

- Some realtors provide a list of suggested items to bring. Share this list with everyone in the house prior to going to the beach.

- Kids might compile a shopping list before going, and do most of the shopping at home. Divide the cost by the number of kids in the house.

- Rather than take bedding, take sleeping bags. If necessary, rotate space so no one gets stuck with a sofa bed for the whole time.

- Everyone should be responsible for cleaning up after themselves.

- Have house rules that everyone settles on, i.e. no outside noise after 11 p.m. in deference to neighbors; this is not a "party house;" no one "crashing" overnight (among other problems, they could be "busted" by realtor for over-occupancy)

- Decide in advance who gets parking spaces - houses usually only have a few.

- Be aware that a lot of cell phones don't work from Bethany.

- Some kids love the beach and don't get bored, but others prefer to sleep late and watch videos/play games - remind them to take enough of both

4. There is alcohol, some sex, and probably drugs at the beach

- Advise your child not to go to any parties unless they know the people and they have the ability to leave if need be

- Obviously do not drive with anyone who is drinking; have a system in place so they can call someone to get them.

- If, despite a chaperone's best efforts, he/she finds that kids in the house have been drinking, do not allow them to leave.

- Other schools are down there and there are overlapping friendships so it is easier to go to party without knowing the people then you would think.

- One house was seriously trashed by BCC students last year with couple thousand dollars of damage

- Kids need to know if they get a citation, it must be recorded on next year's FAFSA; so if they apply for financial aid, they could mess it up.

- GIVE YOUR CHILD THE OPTION TO CALL YOU DURING THE WEEK AND ASK FOR HELP OR TO BE PICKED UP WITHOUT QUESTIONING

Don't try to equate Beach Week with the freedoms of going off to college - not the same!

- Our teenagers are in post-graduation party mode

- The beach is not a college campus where everyone is the same age, but a community with many individuals who do not want our teenagers.

- Extra police are brought into Bethany during the beach weeks and neighbors are ready to report any disturbing behavior.

- At college there is some academic purpose and beach week the purpose is party

- Therefore, it is critically important to talk to your child about all the possible challenges of the week and how to deal with them.

If you are looking for alternatives to Beach Week here are a few suggestions..

- camping with friends, including camping at Cape Hatteras

- taking a trip elsewhere with a few good friends

- Whitman HS is organizing a Habitat for Humanity week, and a trip to the Lewis and Clark trail and similar trips might be future possibilities for B-CC students

- How about Beach Weekend instead of a whole week? Many students opt to just visit for a few days.

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